Nathan continues to grow and develop. He is 7 and a half years old now and seems to be of average physical size for his age. He does have odd bone growth patterns, which are especially noticeable on his hands and feet. He is generally quite skinny. We asked the doctor about that and he says it is just genetics, because he is healthy. He is certainly getting stronger, which is a good thing most of the time. There are times, however, when his physical strength can be a detriment. Nathan's mom, Tara, gets him up and ready for school each morning. If Nathan is not interested in going to school that day, he can put up a pretty good fight. Tara has been punched, kicked, and bit by a determined little boy. He generally likes school. I attribute his morning moods to not being a morning person.
At the same time, we are conscious of his behavior and don't want others to get hurt if he is in one of his moods. We have tried different medications to see if he can be a little more calm to those around him. So far, it has not been a successful exercise. At times the meds seemed to be working, but had side effects of not sleeping enough or at the appropriate times. He would be up in the middle of the night for hours on end talking to himself as loud as he could, completely happy. But this practice made the morning routine a bigger nightmare than usual.
A good characteristic I have found in Nathan is that he can switch his moods fairly easily in many of those instances. If I become the tickle monster during one of his fits, he can often change his behavior immediately with the added attention and lightened mood. But alas, even that does not always work. Everyone in the family has learned that we are going to take a few bumps and bruises from Nathan.
Our Nathan is not a bad boy. Far from it. He is a sweet, loving child who wants to be loved back. It is difficult to see the way others treat him. He mostly wants to be included and accepted, but not everyone understands how to connect with him. It is especially sad to hear other children say they do not want to come to our house because "that kid" lives there. That breaks our hearts but we do not judge them. We often fear those we simply do not understand.
I am grateful that Nathan is part of our family. He is a noticeable part of our family, but not the epicenter of it. We have six other children (Yep, that's right. Seven all together) and each one is so very precious to us. Each has their own set of needs that are unique to them. I will admit that it can be difficult to keep a balance between helping Nathan with his special needs and yet giving each of the other children their deserved parent time as well. That is something I still need to work on.
The other children have adapted to Nathan and his different ways, but it can be difficult. For instance, our oldest son recently took a job in assembly at home. He would bring home boxes of small parts and would put a predetermined number of each tiny part into small bags for later assembly by the end user. Nathan found his boxes of small parts one day when they were left unattended. He scattered thousands of them throughout the house before he was discovered.
Along the lines of small pieces, Nathan loves cold cereal. We buy it in large quantities to feed our army of children. He has figured out how to get at the bags of cereal in the pantry, steals away to his room and chows down. Unfortunately, part of this ritual involves making the cereal "rain" in his room. I don't want to calculate how much money I have lost to cereal hurricanes in Nathan's room.
Nathan's room does not belong only to him. He shares it with his four-year-old brother, Ammon. Theirs has been an interesting relationship. At this point, Ammon has long since surpassed him in all mental categories, but is still weaker physically. Nathan seems to pick on Ammon for no reason at all. Perhaps he is seeking attention and knows no other way to get it. Once again, we are all still learning.
The dynamic between Nathan and our other children is an important one for me and my wife. Every person in our family is important, precious, and valued. I took on a major project a few years ago that has been a blessing to our family. I wrote a book. My work of fiction is intended primarily as entertainment for teens and adults, but one of the key characters is a mentally handicapped boy inspired by Nathan. This character's role in the book has helped my own children see Nathan in a positive light. If you read it, you will see why. It can be found on Amazon. It is called Forests of Farallon.
Here are some of the other things that Nathan loves and hates these days:
Loves:
- School. He loves his teachers and they love him
- The letter N. He says his name anytime he sees this letter
- Minecraft. If we let him, he would sit for hours in front of a kindle or computer watching or playing this game.
- His Amazon Kindle. Nathan has his own Kindle, as do a few of our children. If the batteries run out on his Kindle, the others have learned that theirs may get swiped. Missing Kindles have a way of turning up on or near Nathan's bed in his room. One note about the hardiness of those devices. They can take a BEATING! We have lost a couple of them, but for the amount of abuse Nathan has put them through, none should be working. The problem is that once the battery runs out, he has no concept of charging it. He just thinks it is now useless and he throws it. I know, I know, violence and technology are not a good pair, but...he loves his kindle too much to take it away. We are still working on teaching him how to treat his device more carefully. It may be a long road.
- The baby learning videos. He loves the colors, sights and sounds on this channel as much as our 18 month old son does. They are on a similar mental wavelength right now.
- Sign language. His teachers are doing a great job using this to communicate with Nathan. He brings home new signs. I love to see him communicate with his hands. Of course that means we need to learn it too, an area where I need improvement.
Dislikes:
- Nathan is scared TO DEATH of dogs. I know, you'd think he would love a dog for companionship and attention. Not so. It doesn't matter how big or small the dog is either. He is completely mortified of any dog. Over the years we have discussed the possibility of getting a dog, but with Nathan's fear, that won't happen anytime soon, if ever.
- Much to our dismay, Nathan at age seven still has no interest in potty training. Tara has spent lots of hours trying to teach him. You have heard the old adage "you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink." Our experience with potty training has been similar. "You can lead Nathan to the toilet, but you can't make him pee." Potty training Nathan is on the "most desired" list in our home. At this point, our eighteen month old is showing more interest in that area.
As we have mentioned before, Nathan has a big heart...literally. His aortic root is enlarged and has been from birth. It is currently much larger than an adults full grown aortic root. We visit the cardiologist every six months to get a sonogram to measure it. Eventually, it will have to be replaced. His last visits have not shown a significant increase in size which is a great blessing. We want to put off open heart surgery as long as possible.
In summary, Nathan continues to bring lots of inspiration and perspiration. We love him and are learning more and more what that really means.
--Ben
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